The Bond

The Sparrow struggles against the wind trying to reach the Eagle
flapping harder and harder seemingly getting nowhere
suddenly the Eagle notices and swoops around the Sparrow
coming up beneath her and beckoning her to grab on to his back
as the Sparrow holds on the Eagle soars ever higher
taking his friend to unimaginable heights
the Sparrow sings with delight and a bond is formed
where one would never imagine one
effortlessly gliding through the clouds
the Eagle shows the Sparrow a world she's never seen before
and the bond grows stronger, the Sparrow sings louder
The Eagle regains respect for the sights he is seeing
again, for the first time, through fresh eyes filled with wonder
Together they experience a new world of wonders
and a bond that will never be broken.

This is:
What now?... With Paula

Time to fly

I wanna fly, wanna get away
Sail through the night, call it a day
Leave these places and stresses behind
I got plans in my head and peace on my mind
Ready for a change, the time is right
Got my passport ready, yeah, I got my flight
Could be a mountain top, a Vally or a beach with sand
Life is the journey not the place you land
Struggling to live each day, it wears a soul down
Steppen outside your boundaries brings it around
My heart's achen for a distant land and far off places
Playen the cards in my hand and pullen out Aces
Another land beckons, calling my name
Offering me peace, not riches and fame
I'm craven the solace, peace, love and light
Not ending this battle, just winning this fight
So I'll see you around, another time and date
I'm ready to live life according to fate
Moven on a new path, a new life, a new home
Liven my life as though it's my own.


This is:
What now?... With Paula

Happy 70th Birthday Mom!!

I love you and miss you, want to hug you and kiss you
but it's not my time, so I'll wait to shine,
when it's my time to come home, we'll no longer be alone,
So when I get my wings we can meet on a cloud,
Mother & daughter hand in hand so proud,
together we'll walk for all the days & shine upon the living in glorious ways.
I'm not counting my time here on land, but I sure do miss the touch of your hand
the sound of your voice and your hugs of Love
But I know you're watching from Heaven above
Please watch over me until again we're together
send me a sign, drop down a feather
I'll continue to love you, miss you and call out your name
life here on earth just isn't the same
In my heart you will forever stay
So with love I wish you a Happy Birthday!!

This is:
What now?... With Paula

... Pierre Charron

He who receives a good turn should never forget it; he who does one should never remember it.- Pierre Charron


This is:
What now?... With Paula

I am strong

Your darkness surrounds me
Attempting to consume me
yet I glow
white light from within
like a full moon against a black velvet sky
Protecting me
from
Your words, thoughts, actions all designed to inflict pain
or insight anger
I stand strong against them
Smiling in your face
knowing that any gift not received
is a gift YOU hold on to
Keep your anger
Keep your fear
Keep your pain
Keep all the negatives that make you who I see you for
I am sorry for you
that you can't see the harm you cause yourself
But
I am protected from you
Because I know who you are
And
I will prevail
I will walk with my head held high
I will smile
My white light will continue to glow
Stronger
because of your darkness
I am strong.

This is:
What now?... With Paula

Heat

Summer's heat takes over your every thought
the sun wraps itself around your body like a cloak
skin turning pink, red, brown
you look for relief under a tree
a storm comes rolling in
you think perhaps this will cool things down
huge charcoal clouds fill the sky
mocking the sun
in a flash -
sheets of rain
booming thunder
streaks of lightening
rivers of water racing along the curb
steam rising from the ground
you sigh and take in a somewhat cooler breath
and just that fast the storm is over
and then it starts again
sun burning bright
pushing the clouds into the distance
a rainbow forms in the sky
in no time you can hardly tell it rained
the ground is dry
and that familiar heat is draping itself around you again
you wonder how long the heat will last
it's barely June
you think it's going to be a long summer
a butterfly lands on your shoulder to rest it's wings
you smile
and think it's going to be a good summer

This is:
What now?... With Paula

:o)

Happy Birthday to me!


This is:
What now?... With Paula

A letter to heaven

Mom,

Happy Mother's Day in Heaven. Next month will be 33 years since you left and the passing years can't change how I feel. I miss you & love you more as each day passes. I long to be able to hug you and kiss your cheek, to call you on the phone to tell you what's new or get a recipe from you. I wish I could tell people that YOU are my best friend & we do everything together. I've missed out on so many things that people take for granted. And my heart still aches. I know one day we'll be together again but until then please keep watching over me and keep me safe, strong and on the right path. Bless all the Mom's on Earth & in Heaven. I love you & think of you always.

Forever your loving daughter, Paula <3


This is:
What now?... With Paula

Do you feel me?

I will burn inside you like a raging fire
I will drive you to the cliff of madness threatening to push
Then whisk you away on gossamer wings
I will fill your eyes with a joyful tear
Then flood them dragging anger down your face in streams
I am as gentle as a kitten
Or painful as a gun shot
Because of me you feel invincible
And bewildered
You can't live without me
Then you damn me for being
At my word you are a lover
A fighter
You climb mountains
Or cling to your bed
I am everything you ever hated
And loved
I am called
Passion
Without me
You are nothing

This is:
What now?... With Paula

Do you know her name?

She walks with grace, white light emanating from within
She is all the things you yearn for
She shows you passion and beauty you can't imagine
Words fail to describe her essence
And you follow her
Faithfully
Longing
You walk slightly behind always in awe of her
Not quite sure what she really thinks of you
You are hopeful
Your heart pleads with her to shine her light on you
Make you a part of her world
You fall to your knees honoring her, for
She is Love

This is:
What now?... With Paula

Yearning

She lays silently in the blackness of the pre-dawn hours
listening only to the sound of her own breathing
remembering with bittersweet sorrow
the feel of her lovers last kiss
When will she feel his touch again?
How deep can this pain penetrate her soul?
Does he long for her the way she longs for him?
Will he remember her always?
Her concentration is broken by a sudden movement on the bed
He slips between the sheets
Returning to her he reaches out and touches her cheek with a gentle kiss
How was work she asks as she melts into him


This is:
What now?... With Paula

On winning

It's good to win
It's better to hate to loose
It's best to be gracious either way

This is:
What now?... With Paula

Early morning thoughts

Your heart distorts it's voice with desire and passion
Your conscience speaks clearly with truth and rational
Your future is determined by which voice you choose to listen to.
__________________

I heard a bird sing and my ears danced
I saw a flower bloom and my eyes danced
I thought of you and my heart danced
_________________

Some of my favorite things:

The flit of a butterfly's wings
A baby laughing
Church bells in the early morning
A birds song
My family
My cat purring in my lap
Being comforted by my dog when I'm down
Laughing so hard my stomach hurts & eyes tear
My Grandma's artichokes and homemade pizza
Being by the sea
Exploring Italy
Feeling the sun warm my face
The moon
ladybugs
Hyacinths
The aroma of fresh brewed coffee

This is:
What Now?... With Paula

Spring is in the air

It's March 25, 2010 and a balmy 56 degrees in the Big Apple. Spring is making its usual ceremonious entrance. I saw my first crocus of the season today. The bravest of flower buds are starting to break ground and birds are already filling the early morning air with their melody.

I have two favorite ways to wake up in the morning, one is to the sound of church bells ringing (preferably in Italy) and second to the sound of a live feathered symphony. I always feel like it's going to be a good day when the birds wake me, even if it's before I'm ready to wake up. It makes me feel alive.

Spring comes in a very close second as my favorite time of year. Second only to Autumn. There's just something about the dry crisp air, the sound of leaves crunching under foot and the colorful trees that I just can't place second. But watching flowers bloom, the rebirth of nature, hearing the birds sing and seeing that reawakened bounce in every one's step, that can't be beat. Spring is the answer to the promise Mother Nature makes to us each Autumn.

So tell me, what's your favorite time of year? Why, what makes it special for you? How does it make you feel? I want to hear from you.

This is:
What Now?... With Paula

Within my heart

I looked within my heart today to see what I would find
written in every corner were names of every kind
Some were new and some were old
Some were faded and some were bold
But right there in the middle like a beacon in the dark
I saw your name was written and left a giant mark
No matter how I turned it I still could see your name
From within the middle came a glowing flame
Love kept pouring through it, that much I could see
'cause when God created you, He created you for me
So I think of you and smile and feel the flame within
Looking to the heavens with that knowing grin
I'm grateful that I have you to call my special friend
And knowing that you're in my heart until the very end


This is:
What Now?... With Paula

Take a stand!

To put this mildly, we as a society have a problem in America that we are not paying enough attention to. One of many, I add, but that's not the point. Our children are angry and violent and many of them seem to have no regard for life of any kind nor do the understand or fear the consequences of their actions. And it's our fault!

Yesterday MSNBC reported that a second teenage child, a girl, was arrested as an accessory in connection with the vicious and premeditated beating of a 14 year old Ft. Lauderdale, Fl girl, Josie Ratley while she waited for her school bus outside of her middle school.

15 year old high school student Wayne Treacy reportedly punched Ratley in the head until she fell on the ground, then continued beating her by smashing her head on the pavement, kicking her and stomping on her while wearing steel-toed boots. Treacy has been arrested and charged with premeditated attempted murder. This is no simple school yard fisticuffs.

This heinous attack is reported to have stemmed from a cell phone text message, however the local authorities are investigating further and believe that the attack was prompted by the recent death (possibly suicide) of Treacy's only brother. The day before Treacy's 15th birthday in October he found his brother hanging from a tree.

Ratley was airlifted to Broward General Medical Center, where she remains in critical condition and is currently in a medically induced coma.

Josie's parents are pleading with the public to have open discussions with your children about right and wrong, violence and consequences as well as the unseen dangers of texting and the Internet.

Don't think for one minute that I'm taking this out on boys. This situation just happens to involve a boy. Almost on a weekly basis I either read somewhere or see on the news how our teenage girls are out of control. Videotaping their back lot brawls & posting them on YouTube for "Street Cred" (street credibility), which in the videos I've seen they are just as dirty, bloody & violent as any boy fight I've ever witnessed.

I want to know WHY in 2010 should any family have to be suffering this way? Was that boy put into therapy after finding his brother hanged? Where does a 15 year old boy get the notion that it would be ok to place a hand on another child, scratch that, boys will be boys right? Hmmm. Where did he get the notion it would be ok to put his hands on, to BEAT, to kick in the head with steel toed boots a 14 year old girl? Why are our children so violent? What are we doing about it? Do we even know our kids? And seeing these types of articles as often as they are in the news, WHY are we surprised when we have "Trench Coat Mafias" & the like gunning down our kids in school? Would that have been the next step for this boy had he not been caught this time?

I'm taking adults to task on this - I ask you: What are we going to do about the mess our society is turning into? Are you teaching your children morals, ethics, compassion, empathy trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness and citizenship. Where do you think we will be tomorrow if we don't make a change today?

Don't hold back, tell me what's on your mind. I want to hear from you.

This is:
What Now?... With Paula

Friends and travel

Porto, Portugal what a magnificent night time sight!

Several months ago I had the good fortune of befriending a gentleman who hails from the charming and picturesque city of Porto (as in Port wine), Portugal. Again to my good fortune this gentleman, Jose, in his never ending generosity has shared with me many fascinating tales of his youth and has even been kind enough to dot those stories with breathtaking photographs.

Porto is the second largest city in Portugal. It boasts six vast bridges and the Douro River (river of gold) where golden wine grapes grow abundantly making a river ride on a port wine boat a romantic and scenic adventure. Additionally, one would have to indulge in some of the freshest and tastiest seafood around.

As it turns out, Jose has a pretty vast knowledge of his family's history which he has written a number of essays on and allowed me to read. I for one can't wait for them to be properly published since they tell the story of a family who struggled to make a better life for their children and who even went so far as to ship off their youngest child (Jose's grandfather) to another country so he could grow up with more privileges and (hopefully) carry the family on to more affluence, or at the very least, less struggles and poverty. Reading those stories reminded me of the books (Angela's Ashes and 'Tis) written by Frank McCourt, and Irish immigrant who grew up in a very similar situation where food and privileges were few but the family love was deep and the bonds were strong.

Jose also happens to be quite well traveled and well versed on European travel which happens to be a deep passion of mine, so conversations with him are sort of a mini vacation for me. The one thing, good or bad, that I've noticed is that all this talk about Europe, it's foods, art, architecture, music, cultures has reawakened several passions in me that I had allowed to go dormant for some time now. Once again I am dreaming of returning to Italy to continue (and complete) my country tour, and then to move on to neighboring countries. To meet the people, (attempt to) speak the language, eat the food, soak up the cultures and to broaden my knowledge and passion for these places. I'm also writing more (again). And thinking about writing more. So wouldn't it be wonderful if I could somehow combine the two? Oh to dream a little dream... Per chance to return to traveling and start a travel blog? Who knows, maybe a travel news letter, a city guide? Well, I have my work cut out for me and I'm happy for that.

I can't wait for our next conversational adventure. I dream of the characters I'll meet in these stories and the streets my eyes will wander down... until I can "go" and see Portugal for myself, what a wonderful way to visit!


Do you have a travel adventure to share? I want to hear from you.

This is:
What Now?... With Paula

Ultimate Chocolate Mint Snow-top Cookie!

This is one of my all time favorite comfort food style cookies to make. Stored in an air tight container they travel well if visiting or sending as a care package. They're great with coffee or an afternoon tea and a truly special treat with a steaming mug of cocoa.

***Note: This cookie can also be made with Nestle Toll House Raspberry Chocolate Morsels for a fantastic and unexpected berry flavor!

1 1/2 cups (10 ounce bag) Nestle Toll House Mint Flavored Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels (divided)
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup granulated sugar
6 tablespoons of butter or margarine softened
1 1/2 teaspoons of pure vanilla extract
2 eggs
powdered sugar

Microwave one cup of morsels in a medium sized microwave safe bowl on high (100%) power for 1 minute. Stir. Microwave at additional 10-20 second intervals stirring until smooth. Cool to room temperature. In a small bowl combine flour, baking powder and salt. In a large bowl beat butter, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Beat in melted chocolate. Beat in eggs. Slowly beat in flour mixture. Stir in remaining chocolate morsels. Cover bowl and chill until firm.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Shape dough into 1 1/4 inch balls and roll in powdered sugar. Place on ungreased baking sheet and bake approximately 10-12 minutes or until sides are set but center is still slightly soft. Cool for 2 minutes then remove to wire rack to cool completely.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies

What's wrong with the youth of today?

Why is it that everyone from my generation (40 something) or older seems to feel that everything was better when we were kids? Was it really? Or do we as humans tend to glamorize the past, moralize the present and over dramatize the future? I'm sure you've heard it a thousand times before or maybe it was you who said it: Directed to a child - When I was your age we had to walk to school, in the rain, snow, heat of summer, wind of autumn, two miles each way and we never complained! We were so poor we had to put paper/cardboard in our shoes to cover the holes, and there was no such thing as having 9 pairs of sneakers! You had one pair of shoes for every day and if you were from a wealthy family maybe you had a pair of Sunday shoes. Whatever you grew out of, your younger sibling got to wear next. There was no such thing as buying new clothes! Even what you had came from an older cousin, and that was probably made by someone in their family that knew how to sew. And that poor child has to stand there and listen to this rant and be made to feel guilty for the privileges that are bestowed upon them by their parents.


Guilty as charged! Although I must admit, I've never run that particular scenario on anyone younger than me. I do try to be mindful of the fact that in most cases today's youth are not completely at fault for their behavior since they are a product of their family/environment. But if I must tell the truth, I am guilty of telling a few younger people that things were different when I was growing up. I recall telling some teens how when I was growing up, if I wanted something special I had to go to work for it. And I'm not talking about earning an allowance. I didn't have that option since I was fortunate enough to be raised by my Grandmother who struggled just to keep a roof over our heads ( She had all 4 of her Grandchildren to raise), so I went to work at the age of 12. Yes, I forged my working papers to say I was 16, but so what, I did it to help the family. Every time I didn't have to ask for money for school clothes or books or whatever it was that I wanted or needed, I was taking stress off my Grandmother. So I would have lied and said I was 20 if I had to! But my point is, I worked for the things I wanted, as well as many of the things I needed. I learned from a very early age that money doesn't grow on trees and just because your parents/guardian bend over backwards to give you everything, doesn't necessarily mean they should.


I've always believed that what kids need more than every new video game that comes out or 20 pairs of Jordans or a car for their (legal driving age) birthday, is one thing: Time. Kids need time with their family, with the people that love them most and are the hardest on them because they want them to have a good life. Time to talk about how they feel, what's going on in their lives or to just sit and watch a movie together and bond in silence. That's the stuff that makes a difference in who that kid grows up to be. XBox won't turn your son into a man. Mac makeup won't turn your daughter into a woman (although in the case of make up, she will surely THINK she's a woman) if you don't spend that time with her.


I was thinking about this because we have had a tremendous amount of snow here lately. More than I've seen in years. The kind of snow that I remember when I was a teenager. Snow that allowed kids to earn a good sum of money by shoveling their neighbors sidewalks for them. I happen to live in a neighborhood with a large number of young people. I have a grade school and a middle school across the street from my house. So you would "think" oh this is going to be easy! I'll stop a couple of kids and ask them if they want to make some money helping me shovel out my sidewalk and car. Wrong! I forgot to factor in that "most" of these kids come from privileged homes where they are spoon fed every wish/demand they desire. By the end of the fourth snow storm in two weeks I began to grow weary of shoveling. After all, I do have one ruptured disc and 3 herniated discs in my neck from an accident several years back. I shouldn't be shoveling snow anyway, but just because it falls down on it's own doesn't mean it's going to move on it's own. I pace myself and hope for 90 degree temperature jumps lol.


This last snow storm was a little different though. I don't know if something clicked with these kids that they could have even more money in their pockets or what but I did see a number of kids walking around with shovels. Unfortunately the first few sets of kids that passed me were either already too tired to help me, late to get home or realizing it's easier to just ask mom and dad for money than get it this way... and so I carried on. By the time I was shoveling out my car, two 15 year old boys approached me and asked if I needed help. At first I thought I was in some kind of snow induced dream but quickly realized they were really offering to help me. We came to an agreeable price and the shoveling commenced. The funny thing was when I was still shoveling and one boy turned to me and said Miss, please, don't do any of that we will take care of it, you just rest. Sad to say but I almost had to choke back a tear! I haven[t heard someone so young speak so politely in long enough that I can't recall. It was almost surreal. I stood there and watched these two boys go at that snow like a couple of bulldozers. They had my entire car shoveled out and the street clean enough to eat off of in about 20-30 minutes. And I mean snow deep enough that you could not see one inch of my car before they started. It was simply a nearly six foot heap of snow/ice which was made all the worse by the plow packing the car in. The whole time they shoveled they were chit chatting with me about the neighborhood and how if they had known I needed help they would have come sooner. Is it possible that I have help the next time it snows?! One can only hope.


When they finished, I not only gave them the price they asked for but I threw in extra because they did such a good job and were such sweet boys. As they walked away I stood there thinking.... Yeah, What is wrong with the youth of today?





Do you have a feel good story? Something that surprised you and made you smile? Tell me about it. I want to hear from you.

This is:

What now?.... With Paula

Sometimes it's hard to know who has your back, & who has it just long enough to stab you in it!

I've noticed more than usual lately that a bunch of people in my life are backstabbers and phonies. Strangely enough a few of these people I considered like family, thought I knew them well, but apparently I was mistaken. My bad for believing in you. For the most part I can usually spot this kind of person from a mile away and won't let them into my life in any kind of intimate fashion. I won't hang out or socialize with them outside of the reason why I know them in the first place (perhaps they're a co-worker, or sibling of a friend etc.), but every now and then you find yourself in a situation that you didn't realize you had gotten yourself into. Maybe it's a relative or someone whom you've considered a close friend for ages, that turns into the child of Lucifer one day right before your eyes. Sometimes you knew all along that they were a phony, but for various reasons you had to keep your mouth shut and smile at them, all the while thinking to yourself, if I had my way, I would drop kick your fake ass all the way to the North Pole.

Sometimes these people show their aggression towards you in ways that I would call passive aggressive ie: Not inviting you to a party, having every excuse in the book for not showing up/calling/being there for you when you finally needed them, giving you a gift that is blatantly not meant for you, making promises to you that were never meant to be kept, making comments in front of you that are designed to hurt you and uplift someone else, etc. We've all been there, all been a targeted victim of these petty crimes.

So, what do you do when you realize someone that has been in your life for a long time suddenly turns on you? Or maybe it's not so sudden but you've finally reached the point where you have to either address the issue or loose your cool or... send them out of your life. Do you ask yourself what you did to provoke that behavior or do you ask yourself what the hell did I do to deserve this crap? Do you blame them or yourself? Do you wonder if they think you're stupid enough to believe they're genuine? Do you remove them from your life? Is it simply your existence that makes them want to hurt you? Are they jealous of you for one reason or another? Are they just so unhappy with their own wretched little lives that they have to target someone who they think can't or won't fight back?

As for me, I tend to let people go. Not because I'm cold, callous, heartless or uncaring, but because if I've reached the point where I have to make this decision I've already allowed myself to be your doormat for far too long and now it's time for me to pull up my self respect and give you your walking papers. That's never an easy choice to make and naturally it causes a great deal of pain but there comes a time where you have to decide what is more important, this person or your own mental health and self respect.

So tell me, how do you handle these situations? I want to hear from you.

This is:
What Now?... With Paula

Valentines Day... To Be or Not To Be?

Valentines Day is less than a week away and I want to know how you're going to spend the day? Do you have a sweetie? Are you looking for a sweetie? Are you single and going to pamper yourself for the day? Or, are you anti Cupid?

Me personally, I'm single and I do enjoy pampering myself any time, but what the hell, I go a little extra for Valentines Day. Why wouldn't I enjoy making my favorite meal for myself, taking a nice bubble bath with a glass of wine, some candles and good music? Sure, it would be 100 times better if I had someone to share it with, but should I deprive myself of these pamperings just because I'm single? I don't think so. Besides, when I do have a sweetie to share it with isn't it worth knowing that I already know how to make a romantic evening?

And what about you? Will you be going the extra mile for yourself? For that special someone in your life? Or will you stay under the covers all day and wish for the day to end so you can put it all behind you?

Let me know, I want to hear from you.

This is:

What Now?... With Paula

If Time Stood Still

If time stood still
Would you want it to move?
If time stood still
What would you prove?
If time stood still
What changes would you make?
If time stood still
Would you still be so fake?
If time stood still
Would your heart still beat?
If time stood still
Would you still want us to meet?
If time stood still
Would you live a different way?
If time stood still
Would you want it to be today?
But time ticks on
Without regard for me or you
Leaving you to wonder
What would you do...
If time stood still?

Welcome to my new blog!

Welcome to my world, I hope you like it here! This is a brand new blog, still under construction. Please pardon the mess while I renovate :o)


I hope to be posting interesting & informative tails, questions, thoughts and other randomness. Naturally, my intention is to keep you interested and coming back on a regular basis to see what's new. Or should I say... What's Now?... With Paula

Please let me know if you have anything in particular that you want to discuss or get my opinion on as I'm very open to suggestions and ideas.

And now on to my first topic: Keeping our children safe. (Don't worry, every topic won't be this heavy, I assure you!)

Yes, perhaps it's a heavy topic for a first time blogger, but considering how many "URGENT" postings I've seen this week alone on my Facebook page regarding Amber Alerts (which happen to have been a hoax - this time) and Pedophiles (real or not) having pages on Facebook, I feel this is a topic that needs to be addressed.

Incidentally, I've added a ticker of live Amber Alerts within the USA to my blog because I feel it's important to keep our children as safe as possible and accurate knowledge is power!

So, what do I do when I see these posts? I'll tell you what I do. I check into every one of those postings for validity. I use Snope.Com to debunk hoaxes & I Google the hell out of everything. I will advise the network administration of any information I find (yes, I know that's naive to think they'll pay attention to my little rantings) but if once, just once I make a difference, then it's all worth it. Naturally, the majority of these postings are fake, and usually well meaning individuals are trying to do their part by re posting what they believe to be serious issue, but I couldn't live with myself if that one time I said oh this is b.s. I'm deleting it and it turned out to be a valid post.

So, I ask you, 1) How do you keep (your) kids safe? 2) What action if any do you take when you see these "Urgent" postings on your social networking pages? or do you even pay attention to them?

I want to hear from you.

This is:

What Now?... With Paula